I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
