Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
