its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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