ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
