there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
