This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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