You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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