I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Come on in and take your pants off
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