every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
