not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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