bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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