wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize