Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
