I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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