Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
