bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
