good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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