She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize
