we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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