some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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