Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
operation harelip BJ is a go
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
