Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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