That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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