you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
