Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize