do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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