New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
