ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you didnt know i had herpes?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
