11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
