Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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