My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
