I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
