I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
