I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize