Just cropdusted the office
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It was confusing and full of hummus
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Randomize
