I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
