found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize