I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize