I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
