Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
