I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Your penis caused this!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
