Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
