meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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