full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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