the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
