I want to stick my p in your. b.
Fuck appropriateness.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize