Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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