I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
