just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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