just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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