This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
