your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
