in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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