I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
