she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
