i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
