what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
