I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
