Pappa wants mamma naked
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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