I'm gonna have a badass scar
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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