i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
