So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
