if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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