So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
