dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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