We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
