can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
