I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You left your phone here
Wait...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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