I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
