The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
