Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
